Mixed up Day

Day 2:

Confussing day:
1. Woke up to a spanking due to using my kindle without asking.  I wasn't too happy about a spanking but it ended up being a very light spanking.  Why?
2. Then, I received a second spanking at the hotel that was much harder.  However, I didn't really like it as it was rushed so we could check out of the hotel.
3. I didn't receive any more spankings once we got home.  You talked yesterday about being at home begin difficult for me with all that needs to be done and yet it seemed to distract you more than me when we got here.
4. My thought today: I find myself dreaming of submitting to conseqences that you create.  Consequences that I may not like, but thru that process, coming to grips with what submission truly is...a laying aside of what I desire to please you.  Please find it within yourself to be consistent with this if it's what you feel is best!
5. I'm very concerned that remaining consistent is difficult during our DD time away, that once real life hits it will become even harder to continue.  I missed my RA on Friday night, and then, didn't get all 4 spankings today.  That's hard for me.
6. Thanks for not bruising me...you are doing a great job with that and I appreciate your care for my bottom! 
7. I'm hopeful for tomorrow.  We had a good day today, just again not what I was expecting for a DD boot camp.
8. If we are going to continue with this... before, during, and after a spanking I need you to talk to me!  Talk more than you do to me at any other time of the day!  Your voice does remarkable things to me.  I need you to talk to me...tell me what you want, tell me what you need, tell me who I am, tell me who you are, quote biblical scripture to me, tell me how I've disappointed you, tell me how I'm handling the spanking, tell me when you are switching implements, tell me when you are stopping to rub me, tell me when you are starting again...just talk, talk, talk to me.  Your voice keeps me centered, keeps me focused, keeps me engaged in the process.  The old addage of the more senses you involve the better, right?  So include my auditory sense with your voice please!  It's ok to be gruff with me if it's a punishment spanking...it's excellent to be compassionate and loving with your words if it's a role affirmation...and it's ok to talk sexy to me in an erotic spanking.  Your words are like a rudder on the spanking ship and they help guide my mind to the proper direction it needs to go.