I'm hoping this will be the year that this whole DD lifestyle clicks for us! I picture us at the edge of a cliff, making the decision to step off into this big new adventure but we are scared. For me, I'm scared of jumping yet scared of not going for it. I want to become so much MORE for you this year Sir. We determined that my word for the year is "Change" and yours is "More". Thus, why I have changed the title of my blog this year to "Changing for More".
I want to change to become more for you. More submissive, more attractive, more capable (do accomplish that which you ask of me), more supportive of you, more sexual, and most of all more in love with you! I want to fall head over heals in love with you this year.
You asked me this morning what an HOH gets out of DD. Here's what I think. It's like the fruit basket concept that we were introduced to years back. When you dominate me by pushing my mental and physical limits and demanding compliance I feel that as a deposit into the fruit basket. In turn, I submit to your lead, talk back less, don't argue with you, and open myself up to you sexually and those are my contributions to the fruit basket. Thus, when you are relationally hungry you feel that the basket is full and so do I. When one or the other of us stop contributing to that basket, we can go for a few days/weeks without eating but eventually our bellies start to grumble and before we know it starvation has set in.
I know DD is a lot of work. But Sir, we try to teach our kids that hard work is how we get ahead in life. It's how we obtain great results. Shame on us for thinking our marriage will just naturally fall together into a healthy Godly pattern. We are both sinners, set on our own course for disaster...looking out for #1. That's the exact pattern we need to break. I am worth it, you are worth it, WE are worth it.
I challenge you to hold me firm to my word this year. Remind me often of my desire to CHANGE. Weave it into as many of our conversations as possible. If I get upset with you bringing it up please do not let me get away with that...I NEED to hear it and be held to a new standard. I don't want to stay where I am at in life. I would love to challenge you to find out what MORE means for you inside of our DD lifestyle. I'm scared that after our morning talk you will want to stop pursuing DD because of the extra work load. However, MORE work will result in MORE results. Running didn't come easy at first, did it? And now look at what you can do. I hope you can find in yourself the ability to require MORE from yourself in our marriage. MORE domination, MORE expectations, MORE demands, MORE love, MORE words to communicate, MORE time devoted to learning about DD and how to expand our horizons.
I love you Sir, let's experience this great new year together with a lot MORE CHANGE!
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Mixed up Day
Day 2:
Confussing day:
1. Woke up to a spanking due to using my kindle without asking. I wasn't too happy about a spanking but it ended up being a very light spanking. Why?
2. Then, I received a second spanking at the hotel that was much harder. However, I didn't really like it as it was rushed so we could check out of the hotel.
3. I didn't receive any more spankings once we got home. You talked yesterday about being at home begin difficult for me with all that needs to be done and yet it seemed to distract you more than me when we got here.
4. My thought today: I find myself dreaming of submitting to conseqences that you create. Consequences that I may not like, but thru that process, coming to grips with what submission truly is...a laying aside of what I desire to please you. Please find it within yourself to be consistent with this if it's what you feel is best!
5. I'm very concerned that remaining consistent is difficult during our DD time away, that once real life hits it will become even harder to continue. I missed my RA on Friday night, and then, didn't get all 4 spankings today. That's hard for me.
6. Thanks for not bruising me...you are doing a great job with that and I appreciate your care for my bottom!
7. I'm hopeful for tomorrow. We had a good day today, just again not what I was expecting for a DD boot camp.
8. If we are going to continue with this... before, during, and after a spanking I need you to talk to me! Talk more than you do to me at any other time of the day! Your voice does remarkable things to me. I need you to talk to me...tell me what you want, tell me what you need, tell me who I am, tell me who you are, quote biblical scripture to me, tell me how I've disappointed you, tell me how I'm handling the spanking, tell me when you are switching implements, tell me when you are stopping to rub me, tell me when you are starting again...just talk, talk, talk to me. Your voice keeps me centered, keeps me focused, keeps me engaged in the process. The old addage of the more senses you involve the better, right? So include my auditory sense with your voice please! It's ok to be gruff with me if it's a punishment spanking...it's excellent to be compassionate and loving with your words if it's a role affirmation...and it's ok to talk sexy to me in an erotic spanking. Your words are like a rudder on the spanking ship and they help guide my mind to the proper direction it needs to go.
Confussing day:
1. Woke up to a spanking due to using my kindle without asking. I wasn't too happy about a spanking but it ended up being a very light spanking. Why?
2. Then, I received a second spanking at the hotel that was much harder. However, I didn't really like it as it was rushed so we could check out of the hotel.
3. I didn't receive any more spankings once we got home. You talked yesterday about being at home begin difficult for me with all that needs to be done and yet it seemed to distract you more than me when we got here.
4. My thought today: I find myself dreaming of submitting to conseqences that you create. Consequences that I may not like, but thru that process, coming to grips with what submission truly is...a laying aside of what I desire to please you. Please find it within yourself to be consistent with this if it's what you feel is best!
5. I'm very concerned that remaining consistent is difficult during our DD time away, that once real life hits it will become even harder to continue. I missed my RA on Friday night, and then, didn't get all 4 spankings today. That's hard for me.
6. Thanks for not bruising me...you are doing a great job with that and I appreciate your care for my bottom!
7. I'm hopeful for tomorrow. We had a good day today, just again not what I was expecting for a DD boot camp.
8. If we are going to continue with this... before, during, and after a spanking I need you to talk to me! Talk more than you do to me at any other time of the day! Your voice does remarkable things to me. I need you to talk to me...tell me what you want, tell me what you need, tell me who I am, tell me who you are, quote biblical scripture to me, tell me how I've disappointed you, tell me how I'm handling the spanking, tell me when you are switching implements, tell me when you are stopping to rub me, tell me when you are starting again...just talk, talk, talk to me. Your voice keeps me centered, keeps me focused, keeps me engaged in the process. The old addage of the more senses you involve the better, right? So include my auditory sense with your voice please! It's ok to be gruff with me if it's a punishment spanking...it's excellent to be compassionate and loving with your words if it's a role affirmation...and it's ok to talk sexy to me in an erotic spanking. Your words are like a rudder on the spanking ship and they help guide my mind to the proper direction it needs to go.
First full day boot camp
1. Tough to go to sleep last night after told RA. Only tell me what doing if you are ready to. Otherwise I doubt your words and view as threats.
2. Talk talk talk to me before during and after spankings
3. Would a submissive pose during lecture be good?
4. Thought I would have more demands on me. It's ok to think of expectations for me and put demands on me and our time especially when alone.
5. Like how you reduced intensity. Now lengthen session?
1. Tough to go to sleep last night after told RA. Only tell me what doing if you are ready to. Otherwise I doubt your words and view as threats.
2. Talk talk talk to me before during and after spankings
3. Would a submissive pose during lecture be good?
4. Thought I would have more demands on me. It's ok to think of expectations for me and put demands on me and our time especially when alone.
5. Like how you reduced intensity. Now lengthen session?
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